DON'T HOLD BACK !
Today I am heading off to reconnect with a group who have decided to use this quiet time between Christmas and New Year to take a moment to themselves. As I prepare for the group, and my new year, I am looking at my own intentions and wishes for this fast approaching New Year.
Often we look at New Year as a time to renew vows to self, peel off a few pounds, be more active, kinder, efficient, fabulous. You may have more strategic goals that involve figures, targets and bottom lines.
Whatever we choose to act on, or renew, we must remember our-self, in all of that. Yes I am using a collective term and the SELF because we are all in this together, yet it is our singular self that we are working on. Our SELF has habits, neural pathways that have been defined over years to make the way we think, the way we move, the way we react. Those habits shape us. Without identifying how and where we are NOW, we are ignoring ourselves and all the work gone into creating this fabulous self that is here right now.
When making a new plan or commitment it can be triggered by dissatisfaction to where we are now. A simple example is if I am heavy after wintering well, I will want to lose weight. Some may buy the sports clothes and start running and eating less. However after some days or weeks this shock to the system is too much and old strong and well-manicured habits return. It's cold outside. We forget we had given up alcohol in a moment of stress. Or begin to stash "healthy choclate" for rewards that turn into feasts. Then we get disappointed. We must realise our habits are strong and will win. Especially when we don't really listen to ourselves. By that I mean listening to how the body talks to us as well as the mind.
Let me tell you a fairly obvious well known secret. Humans don’t like change that much. They may wish for change, but they don’t like enacting it in their lifestyle. We, me included, prefer to have a beautiful body, no pain, and a healthy lifestyle in all areas, however I am quite happy/busy with the way I do things right now.
So that’s why it is important to reconnect to yourself. Find out what you really want so that you have a simple goal borne from within, not layered on top of a really very busy, already, lifestyle.
So take a moment TODAY (whatever day it is as you read this, it does not have to be approaching January) to RECONNECT to YOU.
Let’s make a list. It’s easier to read and bring action to.
ONE thing to work on could be take yourself outside and walk for 1km each day for three weeks or two months or a year. That can take you towards goals of relaxing, finding ME time, or starting a routine to greater exercise. The deal is OUTSIDE, and 1km can take just 15 minutes. You might find yourself enjoying this ritual and then you have made an enjoyable change which the human (YOU) may like and feel rewarded as the commitment is met.
Now does that seem real and doable? Does that line up with what YOU and YOUR body/life/mind/soul wants? Not a script of “10 shoulds/must haves” from a magazine. It has to be about YOU so that YOU, the WHOLE of YOU is behind the WISH you have.
All we are doing here is interrupting the habits of a lifetime.
No big deal. ;)
Enjoy your reconnection.
2016 took a lot of people that we are all connected to. Whether through admiration of their talent, music, a time, you have had a connection to some of many leading lights who took their leave this year.
Bowie, Alan Rickman, Caroline Aherne, Mohommad Ali, Victoria Wood, Pete Burns, Willie Wonka himself Gene Wilder, Prince, Terry Wogan, Ronnie Corbett, Paul Daniels, Anthony Foley, Frank Kelly, Jo Cox and most recently George Michael, Princess Leah aka Carrie Fisher and her mother the Unsinkable Molly Brown, Debbie Reynolds who was simply elegance and poise personified.
I believe our admiration and connections are not reserved to the famous. I pick these names as they meant something to me. You have probably lost someone close to you, that you loved and admired and were a part of your life. Please take a moment to savour a precious moment.
So with all these people passing we lose something, we are sad and grieve because even though we don’t know them personally we appreciated their talent, their message, what they did in the world, what they did for us.
For most time passes and we get on with our lives. We all get older. Even though you might not have heard of (_insert name__) in many years, when we hear they have gone we are taken back to the moment they were great in our lives. A forever remembered performance, an album you grew up with that was the soundtrack to your life. You embrace the enjoyment of seeing them because you know they will make you laugh or smile, or give their all to the game.
Or maybe it was the way they lived their lives and how you looked to that for inspiration.
Why are all these souls are exiting? What are we losing? Why has the world turned so cruel? Why is so much ugliness coming to the top? Was it always there and our Disney eyes and wish for goodness kept it under-wraps? Have these voices left so that more of us can find our way and our inspiration to do something for this new world?
All these people changed the world. They did it in their way with their passion and their talent. Their words or performances spoke to you. Their minds and bodies created the memories you have.
It seems it is up to us to check ourselves. What do we want? Are we happy with the way things are in our lives? In our world? Is there something in me I want to change? Is there a passion or talent burning inside me that is denied?
Yes we want to change the world, as it’s not the way we want it. Apparently we have the all the powers to do it. But we have to start here. The world and technology has us feeding and seeking new information all the time. We are in habitual patterns of seeking fulfilment yet we are perpetuating the divide with our opposing forces. It’s not that new. It has always been good versus evil, but in the movies good wins out. I don’t know if we know what is good anymore.
It is my opinion that we have greater lessons to learn inside of us than outside of us. Maybe it’s not back and white but a song with many notes. And the tune is within. Our challenge is to find our balance in a world gone mad. Connect to self. Connect to inner power and inner wish, while all of everything is demanding our attention and dividing us greatly to the polar ends of earth.
Come to quiet. Feel your body. Listen to YOUR soul. Quiet the engine. Make a diet of stimuli of distraction. Stop feeding ourselves overwhelm and take back our direction.
2016 seems to have tumbled things up a bit. She has shaken the snowglobe but mud got mixed with the snow and the picture is messy. It is settling now and we see the layers as they land. What is it in me that I want to excavate? What do I want to let shine?
Now please notice this is NOT what do I want to take on, do better, be greater. Those resolutions of old have been unsustainable. But let us really take the self time to listen to what is inside of me when I have my calm, my two feet on the ground and have found the steady in myself. What is it about me that is my gift to the world? My gift to me?
When I find that, I don’t have to be better or greater. I am all that and more. I shine.
What is the STAR in you?
Love Fiona x
If you need help and time to RECONNECT. http://www.dontholdback.ie/classes.html
So after the joy of a high dose of movies this Christmas what have I learned is . . .
The future is what you make it.
In the main everyone around you loves you and want you to do well,
but there will be some tricksters in the way to challenge you.
You are on your own and make your own decisions.
It’s ok, actually it is better, to do what you want and feel to be true to yourself,
not what is expected of you.
That is as far as career is concerned, but can be applied to many things.
In relationships, listening seems to be key.
Listening and accepting who and where they are, rather than overriding with your agenda.
Time seems bigger, longer and tougher when we are not loved or not listened to.
The moon belongs to everyone.
Kids and old people take life less seriously and have a lot to offer.
Share. Share time, love and kindness.
Love, anger and grief (pain) energises us to make a change, commitment, be brave.
Bravery is always rewarded.
But bravery doesn’t have to be big and obvious. It can be simple and honest.
Imagination is important, and can form reality.
Living there you'll be free, if you truly wish to be.
When you show strength, that can be confidence or reserve, it is found attractive.
Second chances are abundant.
Keep making mistakes and learning so you can correct yourself.
Time, habit, seasons repeat themselves. What can we learn to make life easier, go our way?
Have faith. It needs work to maintain.
We all need help . . . until we realise we have what we need.
Everyone has your back, if you let them in.
Kindness and forgiveness rule.
Absurdity is used in the telling of these stories in order to get the morals and messages across.
Life can be absurd.
And finally Mr Willy Wonka has many gems but let's leave with this one.
"There's no earthly way of knowing what direction we are going"
Take what you want from all of that.
Thanks to QuotesGram for the image
PhotoThe World Turns! It never stops. Incessantly, quietly, continuing to turn so that night becomes day and Winter turns into Spring. In December we celebrate Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year.
In Ireland an ancient tomb at Newgrange has a window lined up to the sun of the December 21st dawn so that it floods the chamber. Each year celebrators make the dark pilgrimage to welcome the light of the morn. Often the winter weather can disappoint, but this year the clouds allowed the sun to prove the wisdom of the ancient architecture.
This Pagan Winter Solstice ritual celebrates the silent wonder of nature making change. It often goes unnoticed as focus goes to more Christmassy things. Attending the Navity, we remember the Christian story of Christmas. A family is born and needs help through kindness. They are poor and seeking shelter. Our modern Irish version is the Home Sweet Home project taking care of the homeless people in Dublin. They had a significant day on the 21st with a court ruling that supports their actions into the New Year.
The rest of us are getting the laundry done, cleaning the house and clearing the cupboards to allow for an abundance of food in preparation for the feast we will share with our family and friends. Christmas day is about sharing of presents, feasting and being together.
Some other traditions associated with Christmas were knocking on the doors of the village demanding a beer. Bringing a tree indoors and decorating with fruit to represent the Adam and Eve story, reminding Christians of their beginning. Another ritual was asking someone out for a fight; a conscious effort to clear the air, put past bygones to rest.
These rituals we take for granted, have become “what we do” for Christmas. They are unconsciously followed, sometimes resisted, and often we don’t even know why any more.
The shortest day has passed. The Solstice has been celebrated. Take a moment before Santa calls to see what you want to let go of. What’s not working for you anymore that you wish to change?
What bygones do you wish to lay to rest and leave behind? What do you choose for your Christmas celebrations that you wish to carry into the days and months of 2017? The Christmassy cheer and feelings will pass. What of this season is good and worth preserving? What new beginning do you wish to make to continue throughout the year?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see a continuing solution to homelessness, kindness to each other, regularly clearing the air and not letting emotions fester until combustion?
What do you wish for YOU as the light gets longer each day and a New Year approaches? What will be YOUR ongoing gift to YOURSELF as the world turns?
Take some time to yourself this Christmas to notice what YOU truly wish for.
Let the bright light of the lengthening days shine on your wishes.
Photograph: Alan Betson / The Irish Times
My friend was sending her good wishes for the season to all her friends on facebook as she was donating card money to a charity. She wished everyone a very Merry Christmas and a happy new from … X family xxxx.
Her husband picked up on this and questioned what she was wishing. A happy new what? He was joking, slagging, what he thought was, her mistake.
Perfect I thought. Choice. “Wishing you a happy new _________” whatever I want!
A happy new day,
a happy new jumper,
a happy new Christmas party (not like last years),
a happy new thought, moment, desire.
The possibilities are endless.
Taking the time to decide what you wish for in your happy new moment is a gift to yourself.
Granted, this time of year we get caught up with all the events we have to go to, the gifts we have to buy, the food we have to prepare, the visits we have to make, the food and drink we have to imbibe. All in the name of pleasing others, sharing the Christmas cheer, re-making family connections, thanking and appreciating colleagues and friends, keeping the dreams alive for beloved children.
Don’t get me wrong. There is something wonderful about making these connections, appreciating and loving each other. And this year I am embracing the Christmas season rather than running away (as I have done for the past decade).
But. A lot of what happens at this time of year is focused outside of ourselves. What gift to get X, or I have to go to this event and I am too tired. I “have to” do this because it is expected of me.
It is hard to remember ourselves in this time of increased demands and expectations.
What would it be like if my intention for this Christmas was to take care of myself well, so that I could joyfully and easily take care of work, loved ones, demands?
Granted this is hard to do. It is hard to put myself first in my own esteem every day of the year, but more so at this time of year when the spirit of Christmas can be overwhelming.
When I am teaching my students I often say that they are the most important person in the world. Sometimes I meet resistance. I am not talking of one person being more important than another. I am speaking of taking care of the self so that I can walk and talk independently. So that I am not hurting myself or unable to take care of my duties to others. I take care of myself so that I walk, work and talk, better. Truly, easily, freely.
How can I take care of others if I am compromised? By taking good care of me I am taking good care of those around me.
New Year is around the corner. I think that my friend omitted the word “year” as it would be the obvious greeting. At this time of year we offer up the past and step into the new year with refreshed intentions, resolutions and optimistic commitments. But let’s embrace my friends’ “mistake” again.
What new wish do I have for this moment? Happy new______
What is my happy new thought right now? For me.
I don’t have to wait till January first to make my promises. Nor will a promise on that day live longer than that moment, unless I re-choose. We are in the middle of this thing called life, in a constantly moving wheel that’s burning speedily through December.
It’s an exciting time
but please remember
that at any moment
have the choice
Love from a happy new Fiona xxx
I am Fiona and I am exploring themes of meeting resistances and allowing ways through. The constant weeding, recognising the stuff that's in the way to live easier.