Destiny

What is our destiny?

Is it already planned; do nothing and ramble along without a conscious thought. Is that our destiny?
Or if we connect with our dreams and ambitions, and control our conscious thoughts and actions, do we create our destiny?

So is what we want our destiny or is it already planned?

I was at the cinema last night, a quirky take on life with beautifully delivered performances; Maggie’s Plan. The first plan was to have a baby, on her own, before her clock started ticking, while she had choice and her choices were not to be determined by a man or the nature of time. She chose her donor and went ahead with the plan while at the same time falling for a colleague.

She marries the colleague and 3 years later notices the slump of imperfectness that happens in relationships, juggling career and family. The husband maintains a dependent relationship with his first wife and the comedy ensues. Maggie’s second plan is to kindly return her husband to his first wife so everybody would be happy: the original family are back together so the kids will be fine, her husband can appreciate the madness and brilliance of the first wife and she him, and Maggie has her much desired daughter, and peace again.

WOW! If only humans were that simple.

While Maggie seems nice, says she seeks honesty and wants the best, she controls and interferes with all these lives, her own, and even the destiny of the funny pickles salesman she had lined up as a donor for her baby. There is an argument that it all turned out ok in the end, everyone got their drama of lust, love and infidelity, and realising what they loved in the first place, before things got complicated. Or before they complicated things.

But what if they got out of the way in the first place and let whatever happens naturally, happen. True there would be no story to tell, no drama. Woman goes quietly about her business and eventually falls for the guy she was meant to be with without destroying another family. There’s a story of simplicity, but you might not make the film.

No lessons to learn because she did everything naturally, like a good God fearing Christian. But the end place was the same, just with different twists in the road.
Destiny according to a dictionary is a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency. The Bible teaches that Man (that would be us women too) have free will and therefore choice. Our choices have consequences. They would say there were penalties for sin and disobedience etc, but it’s not a biblical road I wish to go down today. Essentially Man chooses his/her destiny and lives by the natural law of cause and effect.
FM Alexander taught us we have choice. Choice over how we use our bodies, and thoughts. If we tighten our muscles the law of consequences may offer us pain, restriction of movement and interfered performance. If this is an unconscious habit then we have no choice. No awareness of how to make a change or that there is anything better for us.
When I hurt my body I didn’t know I was doing it. I didn’t know there was a chance to be another me, an easier happier me, until I found it. I took the long way around. And depending on the subject I still do. We have to take the long way, till we learn the lesson and the direct route appears. And we may not always want the direct route. We may enjoy a scenic route. The point is choice is re-found and empowers.
Maybe pain is the twist in the road. Pain is not our destiny. Pain is a teacher, a lesson to learn aong this road so that the next road is smoother.

Physical pain can teach us how to use our bodies better. Pain is something we don’t want, so when it arises we start to listen. We react to get away from pain, sometimes without looking at the whole picture. Pain can be anything we want to move away from. Physical pain, poor performance, debt, stress, relationship heartbreak. We have to look at the problem in relation to the whole coordination to support a solution. Then we can offer ourselves choice. Many possibilities.

What is our true destiny, beyond the pain?
 
Let me know what yours is . . .
Don't Hold Back
Fiona